Birthday

Discussion in 'Sanctioned Suicide' started by RainAndSadness, Sep 11, 2018.

  1. RainAndSadness

    RainAndSadness Specialist

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    I turned 24 today. I never thought I would reach that age, considering I made the decision to ctb almost one year ago. Actually, all it does is remind me that I need to leave as fast as possible. It would be pure horror if I had to experience my 25th birthday. Sadly my original schedule will be delayed a bit I guess due to some circumstances. Anyone else scared of their birthday? I really don't like aging.
     
  2. Madrid27

    Madrid27 Wise

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    You are veryyoung! Happy bday girl!!
     
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  3. Morning Angel

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    Birthdays also crush me. I just keep thinking, “Dear God not another reminder of how my life is a complete failure.” To me, it’s just another day I try so hard to ignore.
     
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  4. Mayfil

    Mayfil Member

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    Its always weird hitting your next birthday when you've been dead set on not being alive. I wanted to be done in 8 years ago and sadly my bitch ass still draws breathe. hope your bday is decent at least
     
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  5. Ashpac

    Ashpac Mod

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    My birthday is shit and always has been.

    I no longer care when i end it.
     
  6. Oyashiro-sama

    Oyashiro-sama Veteran

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    I feel the same, I have 2 months left to turn 24 and I feel like I do not advance in my life, I get old and I have the same problems that when i was 18/19 years old.
     
  7. RM5998

    RM5998 Sack of Meat

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    For me there's this sense of time slipping away. I turned 20 on the 5th, and all I could think of was that I could barely remember any birthday I had had since 8th grade (except the one in my 1st year of college, where the other people living in my wing set up a cool celebration). I've already forgotten what happened, and now I don't even know whether I've done anything in the past 7 years or so. Maybe that's behind my sudden urge to die before complacency sets in.
     
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  8. Synthroz

    Synthroz Member

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    Every time my birthday comes around It reminds me that I wasted a full year and now I'm getting older doing nothing with my life, It also reminds me how lonely I feel.
     
  9. Hanger

    Hanger Noosedancer

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    Happy birthday!
     
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  10. Ben

    Ben im here for a good time, not a long time

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    Hap-.....it’s your birthday today!
     
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  11. Tiburcio

    Tiburcio Rollercoaster smahed on the ground

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    Birthdays sucks for me. I hate that day... Honestly I don't find anything to celebrate that day.
     
  12. Caustic Cardinals

    Caustic Cardinals Illuminated

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    this year was the last time I'll get to spend my b-day with my mom. We celebrated in her hospice room with Ben & Jerry's ice cream.
    that was on Aug 29, she died Sept 9.
     
  13. nuclearsnake

    nuclearsnake Veteran

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    Happy birthday, dude.

    And I get you. I'm turning 24 next year and I'm already dreading it. Fuck birthdays. They're disgusting. Remind me of how worthless and lonely I truly am. Also wtf, who'd want to celebrate the day they were put on this miserable planet.
     
  14. GeorgeEastman

    GeorgeEastman Member

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    One time in school they sang happy birthday to me in class. I began punching the shit out of myself until they quit. They quit in a damn hurry. That's my proudest birthday moment. I think it was my 16th. I mean damn, that's too damn old to have singing like a dumbass 3 year old.
     
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  15. windingdown

    windingdown Veteran

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    Don't worry. We are all just born, and then we are stuck here for 8 or 9 decades, and then we die. There is no real meaning to existence, as far as I can see. I don't believe we can waste time, because it is immaterial anyway; and

    “There is nothing to do and there is nowhere to go
    There is nothing to be and there is no-one to know”


    ― Thomas Ligotti

    24 is still very young, OP, but I hear you, I don't find aging fun either. (Dreadful, actually.) I didn't feel like I was aging until I was 30. I hope you have a good day, anyway :-)
     
  16. nuclearsnake

    nuclearsnake Veteran

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    I find that oddly hilarious. Great reaction to shitty Birthday wishes.
     
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  17. lost illusions

    lost illusions Veteran

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    Agreed
     
  18. lost illusions

    lost illusions Veteran

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    Just another day I have to stay unseen
     
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  19. DarkTear

    DarkTear Member

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    My birthday is tomorrow and I'm already sick and tired of it. I mean, what's so special about it? It's just another regular day.
    Most people don't care about me over the whole year but suddenly they are present again with their "best wishes".
     
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  20. ReleaseMe

    ReleaseMe I know it's over And it never really began

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    I'm turning 30 next month. I wish I could ctb until then but I am too much of a coward. My life has deteriorated more than I was ever able to imagine.
     
    #20 ReleaseMe, Sep 14, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2018
  21. Hunter

    Hunter Exhausted

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    Hope it wasn’t too terrible of a bday OP. Even with a shit life, one should still get a nice slice of cake. (Fuck the candle)
     
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  22. blood orange

    blood orange Member

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    I notoriously have always been miserable on my birthday. As a kid and into adulthood.

    My mom always told me that it's not something to celebrate. She said it's just a countdown to our eventual death.

    In retrospect that was an unnecessary thing to say to a kid. I still don't like my birthday, because I feel I don't deserve it. But I like other people's birthdays.